


Unconditionally

by octothorpetopus



Category: Law & Order, Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Bisexual Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr. & Amanda Rollins Friendship, Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr. Cooks, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Grumpy Rafael Barba, Kid Fic, M/M, Oblivious Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Parent Rafael Barba, Pre-Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Rafael Barba & Olivia Benson Friendship, Rafael Barba Sings, Sweet Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2020-12-21 07:57:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21071537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octothorpetopus/pseuds/octothorpetopus
Summary: Barba asks Carisi a favor that will change both of their lives. Forever.





	1. Chapter 1

"I need a favor." Barba slams his briefcase down on Sonny's desk without so much as a 'hello'. Sonny jumps, woken from his night-shift half-sleep by the loud _bang. _

"Good evening to you too, counselor." He slides his feet off the desk and rests his chin in his palms.

"I need a favor," Barba repeats, and sits on the corner of the desk.

"...okay. What is it?"

"You're good with kids, right?" Sonny blinks rapidly, still trying to rid his eyes of the earliest traces of sleep.

"I mean, I like to think so. Why?"

"I need you to watch my kid tomorrow night." Sonny nearly chokes on his own breath.

"Sorry, you need me to _what _your **_what?!" _**

"What was unclear about that? I need you to watch my kid."

"I don't know, maybe just the part where you have a _child!" _Sonny sits up straight and folds his arms. His memory is excellent, and he's positive that Barba never, at any point in the last two years, has mentioned having a child.

"Yes, Carisi." Barba rolls his eyes as if he hasn't just dropped a bombshell. "Do you need me to explain the birds and the bees to you, too?"

"Ha-ha."

"Anyway, I wouldn't be asking, except Olivia's so busy with Noah, and my mom's on vacation. Hell, I asked Rollins, but with her dog and kid and sister, she's all tied up."

"Oh, so I'm your fourth choice? Great." Sonny laughs sarcastically.

"Sixth, actually."

"So, why have I never heard about your, uh- your son? Daughter-?"

"Daughter. Dani. She's thirteen. And you haven't heard about her because I don't talk about my personal life at work, Carisi. The only reason I know anything about your family is because they seem to constantly be involved in cases. Also, you overshare. A lot." Sonny barely hears this. He's too busy examining Barba's hands. There's no ring, obviously, he would have noticed that before. And no tan line where there used to be one. So he's not married, nor is he divorced, or widowed. "Look, Benson told me you've got tomorrow night off. So can you do it, or-?"

"Yeah, of course." Sonny's sort of surprised with how quickly he accepted. Then again, he supposes there's a lot of reasons. Partially because he's nice, partially because he wants to see Barba's apartment, and partially because Sonny would like nothing more than to meet the child that Rafael Barba apparently raised.

The tension on Barba's face breaks, and he stands, briefcase in hand.

"Thank god," he says. "I'll text you my address. Be at my place by five. Dani's in rehearsals for the school musical, and she usually gets home around five-fifteen." He nods awkwardly, then turns on his heel and leaves. Carisi puts his feet back up on the desk, and leans back in his chair so that just the back two legs are on the floor. In five minutes, he went from not knowing Rafael Barba even had a child to becoming his (sixth-choice) babysitter. Who'd have thought?

"Oh, and, Carisi?" Carisi flinches, and the legs of his chair go out from under him, sending him toppling backwards.

"Yeah?" he responds, wincing in both pain and embarrassment.

"Thank you."

Sonny knocks on Barba's doorbell at 5 o'clock sharp the following evening. The green townhouse door opens to reveal Rafael Barba, dressed in 90% of a tuxedo, a half-empty cup of coffee in hand.

"Come on in, Carisi." Sonny's eyes widen as he takes in the space. He expected the space to look like, well, Rafael Barba. Clean, precise, modern- like an eccentric millionaire with a contemporary sculpture garden that's just huge sticks of metal. Instead, it looks... normal. Lived in. There's a skateboard by the door, a haphazard stack of historical biographies on the coffee table, and framed photographs of Barba with a girl who looks just like him.

"Dani?"

"Yep," Barba responds, already dashing back up the stairs. "Make yourself at home," he calls down. "I'll be back in a minute!" Sonny waves a hand, too preoccupied with his surroundings to respond. Aside from the pictures of him on the wall, and his coats and shoes hanging up in the closet to Sonny's right, nothing about it seems like Rafael Barba. He ducks through a narrow archway to a huge kitchen, which is clean, modern, and judging by the substantial number of paper takeout bags on it, has never been used for anything but the coffee machine.

"Yeah, you can just go ahead and order Chinese or something for dinner." Sonny jumps as Barba slides into the kitchen behind him, his bow tie no longer hanging loose around his neck, but impeccably tied.

"Oh, I thought I'd cook." Sonny hefts a Whole Foods tote bag full of groceries onto the counter. Barba arches an eyebrow, but shrugs.

"That's your prerogative. Dani's basically a goat, she'll eat whatever you put in front of her, so that should be fine. There's a pretty good ice cream joint down the block you can go to after dinner, if you want. Let's see... Dani knows the Netflix login, so you guys can watch a movie or whatever if you want. And it's Friday, so she doesn't have to do her homework tonight... honestly, just make sure she goes to bed before midnight. You've got this." He squeezes Sonny's shoulder reassuringly. As if on cue, the front door opens again, and he brushes past Sonny, towards the sound of sneakers on hardwood floors.

"Hi, _mija."_

"Hey, dad." Sonny pauses in the kitchen, unsure of what to do. He settles for perching on the corner of the kitchen table, waiting. Fortunately, he doesn't have to wait long before Barba comes back in, trailed by a girl with his same sharp, angular features and dark, keen eyes. Aside from the fact that she's several inches shorter, has long hair, and is female, she's his spitting image.

"Dani, this is Sonny. He's going to hang out with you while I'm at the mayor's gala thing." Dani surveys Sonny quietly for a moment, her face stone. He shifts nervously before finally holding out a hand.

"Nice to meet you, Dani. I work with your dad."

"Yeah, you're one of those detectives he's always out drinking with, right?" She takes his hand and shakes it firmly. She's got a strong grip for a 13-year-old girl.

"Come on, Dani, you make me sound like an alcoholic." Sonny shrugs, which makes Dani giggle. Barba checks his watch.

"Shoot, I have to go." He leans down and swiftly kisses the top of his daughter's head. "Be good, Daniela. Don't burn the house down."

"We won't," Sonny assures him, and Barba mouths a silent _'Thank you' _as he backs out of the room. When he's gone, the front door shut behind him, Dani turns back to face Sonny.

"Are you dating my dad?" she asks, and Sonny nearly falls over for the second time in two days.

"What- I- no? Wha- why?”

”Oh. Usually, whenever it’s someone other than Aunt Olivia that comes over to watch me, it’s ‘cause they’re dating my dad.” Dani shrugs matter-of-factly.

"You... are so much like your dad," Sonny says, eyes wide. Dani considers him for a moment.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Good thing.” She smiles, and Sonny feels his confidence rush back. “So, Dani, how do we feel about lasagna?”

“Oh, we feel excellent about lasagna.”

When the front door finally unbolts and opens at about 1 in the morning, Sonny hardly registers it. His head lolls back on the sofa, his icy blue eyes fluttering open and shut with increasing difficulty.

”Hey. Carisi.” A hand smacks the back of his head, and he snaps up, breathing heavily. He turns around to see Barba, tuxedo jacket draped over one arm.

”Oh, hey.” He blinks the earliest traces for sleep out of his eyes and turns around to face Barba. They stare at each other silently for a moment. 

“So... where’s my kid?”

”Oh! Duh.” Sonny smacks his own forehead playfully, then makes a mental note to actually slap himself for how stupid it must have looked. “She went to bed at midnight, like you said. I checked on her about a half an hour ago, and she was dead asleep.” Barba nods, but he steps into the dark hallway and peers in the crack in Dani's bedroom door. When he seems satisfied that she is, in fact, asleep, he shuts the door as quietly as he can, and then throws himself down next to Sonny on the sofa with a dramatic sigh.

"I'm exhausted," he says, and then, without waiting for a response, "Remind me never to say yes the next time the mayor's wife begs me to go to one of those things."

"What, did drinking free champagne and eating fancy hors d'oeuvres suck that much?" Barba laughs breathlessly and shakes his head, turning it to meet Sonny's eyes.

"It's not that, it's just... everything. Work, Dani, plus all my other commitments..."

"What makes right now different than any other time?" Barba's head falls back against the sofa, sinking into the leather.

"Dani's mom." Sonny opens his mouth, but closes it when he realizes he has nothing to say. Barba's never mentioned Dani's mother before. Again, he doesn't wear a ring, and there's no evidence he ever did, which means he's most likely not married, divorced, or widowed. "My ex." So they're not together, but they were.

"Can I ask-?"

"Fine, but only because I'm drunk." Barba interrupts him. He tries to seem casual, but his eyes betray the eagerness of someone who wants- no, needs- to talk about something they haven't talked about in forever. "Cal- Calista, Dani's mom- and I got together when I came to Manhattan from Brooklyn. She was an ME. We saw each other at court constantly, and one day she accidentally picked up my order at the coffee cart... you can guess how it went from there. We'd only been together three months when she told me she was pregnant. We talked about getting married, but we were young and stupid, and to tell the truth, as much as we liked each other, and as much as we got along, we weren't in love." He smiles flatly, his eyes glassy. He is drunk, not so much that he's incapacitated, but his speech is looser than normal. "We split custody, usually every other week, but Cal emailed me a week and a half ago to tell me she's going to Africa to cure malaria or something." He holds up a hand to silence Sonny before he can even open his mouth. "And before you say anything, she's a good mom. Really. And she's not flaky. I respect everything she does, but she won't be back for another six weeks. I've never had Dani for that long, and I don't know if I can..."

”You can. If you can juggle three felony cases, a half-dozen material witnesses, and trying to find something to bring to Rollins’s dinner party, you can handle anything.” Barba smiles, his eyes heavy and half-lidded.

”Thanks, Carisi. That’s nice of you.”

”No problem.” Sonny slaps his knees and rises unsteadily to his feet. “I should go. Get some sleep, Rafael.”

”I will.” True to his word, he nods off then and there. Sonny smiles, tosses a fluffy throw blanket over him, and leaves, closing the door gently behind him. The late-night/early-morning air is cool, and he shivers, not yet adjusted from the warm interior of Barba’s house. He pulls his sweater tighter around him and hails a cab, his mind still full of thoughts of silk ties and lasagna.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it took me so long to finish this! I've been so busy, but hopefully I'll have more time soon to get some more work in. Thanks for hanging in there, and as always, I read and appreciate any comments and feedback you have for me! -C

"Coffee?" Sonny asks as he looks at the tall Starbucks cup that Barba has just put on his desk.

"A thank you. For watching Dani. Since, you know, I didn't pay you."

"You don't need to," Sonny replies, but he picks up the coffee anyway and takes a long sip. "Fuck me, that's _good." _

"Yeah, it's nice when you can afford to drink the good stuff for once." Barba lingers, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably.

"So... did you need something?"

"Yeah, actually.” Barba winces. “I need you to watch Dani again tomorrow night. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t have to, but Dani pretty much adores you after last night. Please. I’ll buy you coffee for the next week.”

”Not a problem. Where are you going to be?” 

”I’ve got to do my Christmas shopping.”

”Now? It’s, like, a week after Thanksgiving.”

”I know, but cases are stacking up and I’m pretty much going to be in court all day every day until Christmas Eve. Look, I owe you. Big time.”

”It’s really no big deal. That being said, I won’t turn down free coffee.”

”I guess I offered, didn’t I?” But he seems less annoyed than he does glad. It’s weird, it’s the first time Sonny’s ever been on the receiving end of that emotion. It leaves a warm spark in his chest long after Barba leaves to go back to his office.

Dani seems glad to see him, even as she’s begging her father to stay.

”Come on, dad, it’s movie night!”

”Sorry, kid. You’ll just have to do movie night with Sonny.” Dani raises a skeptical eyebrow.

”He’s cool, but I’d rather watch a movie with you than your weird coworker. No offense,” she says, and Sonny stifles a laugh. She’s basically a 13-year-old Barba, and he finds it hysterical.

”We’ll go to a matinee at the Paramount tomorrow, okay? For tonight, why don’t you and Sonny get some ice cream and take a walk around the park? A little outdoors wouldn’t hurt you.” Dani rolls her eyes.

”Fine. Whatever.” Barba shrugs apologetically at Sonny as she brushes past them into the living room.

”It’s cool. I’m a master of cheering kids up.”

"Thank you." He squeezes Sonny's arm and grabs his coat off the rack. "I'll be back in a bit, Dani. _Te amo mucho!" _

"Whatever," Dani replies from the living room, but Barba is already out the door. Sonny finds her in the living room poring over a bookshelf, filled with row after row of records, everything from Bob Seger to Mozart to Dolly Parton.

"You gonna play something?" he asks, leaning against the wall.

"Probably. Dad doesn't usually let me touch his record collection, but-"

"But he's not here and you're pissed at him?" Dani turns around just long enough to shrug.

"Pretty much."

"Okay, why don't we do something that won't make your dad hate me forever?" He grabs her by the shoulders and gently steers her away from the records. "Ice cream?" Dani narrows her eyes.

"Without having dinner first?" Sonny nods.

"I'm alright with small rebellions." Dani smiles triumphantly and pulls a flannel on over her sweatshirt.

"What are we waiting for?"

She chatters incessantly as they walk down the sidewalk, but Sonny really doesn't mind. It makes a nice change from the long stretches of silence that occur so often between him and Barba. And she's so much different from him, contrary to what Sonny originally thought.

"Y'know, so many people think doing theater's lame, but that's just 'cause they've never done it." Dani bounces alongside Sonny down the sidewalk, her long braid bobbing up and down with each step.

"Yeah? Your dad told me you're in the school musical, what show are you doing?"

"West Side Story." Sonny arches an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Well, the junior version."

"Who are you playing?"

"Maria."

"Wow, you must be a good singer." Dani shrugs.

"I guess. I'm not as good as Dad, though." Now Sonny raises his other eyebrow.

"I didn't know your dad sang."

"Oh, yeah. He's really good at tons of musical stuff. Singing, piano, cello..."

"Wow. I had no idea."

"Yeah, I don't think he wants people to know. He wants people to think he's mean."

"I don't think he's mean."

"Then he's not doing his job well enough." Sonny lets out a surprised burst of laughter. "Or he likes you. He's not mean to the people he likes. You, Aunt Liv, my mom."

"You know, I don't think your dad's mean at all." Dani smiles, her eyes sincere.

"Neither do I. I just wish he would see he doesn't have to be mean to be tough."

"That was shockingly insightful for a thirteen-year-old." Dani rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm very mature for my age. I've heard it all before. Can we get ice cream now?"

After an ice cream cone and a walk around the park, Dani leads Sonny back to the townhouse, tugging on the sleeve of his jacket when he starts lagging behind. Her small, bony hand is freezing, but when he offers her his gloves, she refuses, burying them deeper into her pockets. Maybe she's more like her dad than he thought. Dani immediately takes a seat on the sofa and switches on the electric fireplace.

"Movie time?" she asks, but Sonny shakes his head, examining the bookshelf. Finally, he makes a selection: Billy Joel's _The Stranger. _"What are you doing? Dad'll kill you!"

"No, he won't. You said he doesn't let you touch them, right? He never said anything about me." Dani stares up at him, wide-eyed, then breaks out in a massive smile.

"You're the coolest," she says, and Sonny feels his face get warm.

"C'mon, kid. Don't get sappy on me." Dani punches him in the arm. "Ow. There we go."

It's almost 11 o'clock when the front door opens again. Of course, Sonny doesn't hear it. Neither does Dani. They're in the living room, dancing like maniacs when Barba comes in. Dani's singing into a whisk from the kitchen like it's a microphone, belting out the lyrics to "Movin' Out" with the best voice Sonny's ever heard on a 13-year-old. She freezes in place when she sees her father, but Sonny doesn't notice until it's too late. He jumps around to face Barba, his face redder than ever.

"Oh, no, don't stop on my account," Barba says, but his eyes sparkle with mirth.

"We were just-"

"It's my fault," Sonny interrupts, holding up a hand to quiet Dani. "We just wanted to have some fun-" This time, it's Barba who holds up a hand to silence him.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure my thirty-year-old record collection remains unscathed?" Dani and Sonny both nod emphatically.

"We were super careful," Dani adds helpfully.

"Good." Barba checks his watch. "Bedtime, _mija."_

"Ugh. Fine." Dani takes a step towards her bedroom, but pauses just long enough to hold her tiny fist up for Sonny to bump. "'Night, Sonny."

"'Night, Dani."

"Stay cool." She gives him the finger guns as she whirls around to back down the hall, then disappears into her room. Sonny turns his attention back to Barba.

"Sorry about the records. Dani just seemed kinda down, and I thought-"

"Seriously, don't worry about it. You seemed like you were having fun, and my house isn't on fire, so I'd call it a success."

"Good. 'Cause she's a good kid. I like hanging out with her."

"Yeah?" Barba raises an eyebrow. "You want to be my new default sitter?"

"For real?" Sonny leans against the kitchen counter and folds his arms. "What about Liv?"

"She's so busy with Noah at this point, and honestly, Dani doesn't need a babysitter. She just needs someone to hang out with. And she really likes you. And I-" He flushes suddenly, something Sonny isn't used to seeing on him "-well, I trust you. You're a good cop, and you're as good with kids as you say. What do you think?"

"I think... I'd like that." Barba smiles.

"Thank god." He brushes past Sonny into the kitchen and opens the cabinet over the fridge. He pulls down a rather expensive-looking bottle of scotch. "Drink?" Sonny nods and tries not to gasp when Barba passes him a glass and their fingers brush. The song changes. "Vienna".

"I love this song." Barba nods.

"Me too."

"So, Barba-"

"Rafael. You're watching my kid, you can at least use my first name."

"Okay, fine. Rafael, can I just ask... I mean... how did I never know about your kid? I know you don't talk about your personal life a lot, but a kid? I figured I'd see pictures or something." Rafael sighs and stares into his glass.

"It's not an accident that you never knew. Olivia found out when she came over to drop off some files a few years ago. Rollins only found out two weeks ago because she was jogging through the park when Dani and I were taking a walk. I don't keep pictures of her on my desk because- Jesus, look at me, Dominick." Sonny prays his face isn't as red as it feels when Rafael uses his given name. "I gave my home address to a gang member last year. I've been getting death threats even longer than that. If anyone knew I had a kid, they'd-" He cuts himself off. "Before, it was easier. Dani spent half the time with her mom in Westchester. But now-"

"I get it. You're trying to protect her."

"Exactly. I love my job, and it used to be okay, splitting my time, my life between work and Dani. It's so much harder now, though, because I've got-" His eyes flick to Sonny, then back down. "Well, it's just harder."

"You'll do fine." Sonny raises a tentative hand and places it gingerly on Rafael's shoulder. "No matter what you think about yourself, you're a good dad. And..." Rafael's eyes meet Sonny's. "And I'm glad I get to spend more time with Dani. And you." Rafael smiles and pats Sonny's arm.

"Thank you." Sonny yawns.

"Shit, I should go home." He downs the last dregs of scotch and squeezes Rafael's shoulder a final time. "Don't worry. I've got your back."

He can barely contain himself once he's outside. He wants to laugh, wants to cry, wants to scream and shoot straight up into the sky. Because he can't remember the last time someone made him feel like this, just like he's _supposed_ to feel. It seems so perfect, so imperfect. But all he can see are visions of Rafael's pink-flushed face, the color of a Vienna sunset.


End file.
